Charlie Don’t Surf!

When they’re not molesting girls in European swimming pools, they’re drowning:

"Charlie don't surf!"

“Charlie don’t surf!”

Record numbers of migrants are dying in Germany’s rivers and lakes as they enter the waters despite being unable to swim, according to the country’s lifeguard association.

The German Life Saving Society (DLRG) says that more people have drowned in Germany so far this year than in the whole of 2015, with recently-arrived migrants making up a significant proportion of the victims.

In the first eight months of this year, 425 people drowned, of which 56 – more than 13 per cent – were migrants. This figure is highly disproportionate compared to the overall population…

Bertold Schmitt, who manages around 6,000 swimming pools across Germany, told Die Welt that migrants with poor swimming skills often think they can jump in at the deep end assuming they can stand up there.

“Two seconds later, my staff have to jump in after them. This is a very common issue because refugees overestimate their abilities.”

More than three-quarters of those who drowned are male, something that the DLRG puts down to overconfidence, carelessness and even alcohol consumption.

I propose we immediately begin subsidizing swimming pools throughout European ‘refugee’ centers like Calais, on the basis of their ‘human right’ for relaxing swimming pool leisure.

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